No Enterprise
The last few days have been really stressful. Hardly sleeping, hardly eating, and coding all day. But I have goals, and I've put everything I could on the line every day since I started going down the path of chasing my dreams years ago, so I'm not complaining; I already knew that was never going to stop me.

It's been a lot to work through, but NoStory is really starting to finally feel polished. It's really come a long way. When I first downloaded and started looking through the Solaxia V2 source over a year ago, I very quickly saw that it was really bad. Like, REALLY bad. Extremely convoluted package structuring, messy code, bugs everywhere, and so many exploits that I ended up having to carefully audit every single packet handler while rewriting not only all of them, but also even the entire networking infrastructure. Since then, I've completely stripped and then re-implemented the asynchronous processing model, redesigned the connection management entirely, redesigned the package structure entirely, and fixed so many bugs that it's absolutely no surprise to me that most servers die within a month or two. No public repack is anywhere close to what I think could be considered production-ready.

You basically have to from-scratch a source in order to have anything that isn't riddled with bugs and exploits to the point that it's practically unheard of for your server to even achieve a 24 hour uptime. This approach obviously takes a lot of time, and admittedly in a way it's not "fully" from scratch, since you do sort of end up copy-pasting some of the stuff that already is designed decently well and works perfectly fine, but I'd say I still think it qualifies. Even in several places where things work fine, the code is still messy. Duplicated functions, unused functions, improperly concurrency-protected functions (this one is pretty big), and inconsistent indenting and formatting. I'm completely confident that it'd take someone with a very considerable amount of professional-level skills working on it for a notable amount of time to ever turn it into something solid, especially if it's one person by themselves.

Anyways, I'm glad I finally reached the point where I don't think there are any major bugs left and the performance is suitable for scaling past ~20 concurrent players. I'm going to hold off on buying top banner on GTOP for at least about 24 hours after initially opening the server up to the public again, just to see if any major bugs will pop up suddenly at the last moment. But if things go well as I believe they should, I'll move forward full-force with trying to get this server out there. Too many people that have joined my community have already told me that the concept is very interesting and it'd be awesome if it was implemented well, and I always thought so too which is the reason I ever started. I'm definitely not giving up when I know I should have some really solid potential here. Shattered Wings is still quite some work away from being a really solid product, and especially since it'd be really nice to be making some cash and building a community while working on Shattered Wings, making NoStory a success is pretty important to me.

Back when I was younger, I'd make MapleStory hacks for GMS. Bots, trainers, even messed with some public PE source and got some PE stuff going on at a point. But I always wanted to do something next level with this game. The time for that starts now. I already have the full foundation of a MapleStory server completed in C++ that I built completely from scratch using the framework I'd established while building Shattered Wings (public C++ sources for this scene are actually a joke IMHO) and tested it with basic stuff like walking around, attacking, changing maps, and inventory manipulation, so I know I can easily utilize the code I'm working on here as part of an eventual codebase merge with Shattered Wings if I want to.

The site's come a long way too. It used to not have a forum or a blog, the note view was messier, registration wasn't open and had more restrictions on credentials, and the NoStory page didn't even display properly at any resolution lower than 1920 x 1080. Basically, it was something in between an absolute mess and something amazing. Now that all that stuff's fixed and a forum and this blog have been added, after starting web dev 15 years ago and doing it on and off in between app and game dev since, I finally have a website framework with a back end and front end that I'm actually satisfied with. I can finally say that I'd rather use what I've made over something like Wordpress, phpBB, MediaWiki, or any other flavours of stuff like that which is available. My site currently effectively functions as multiple of those solutions in one. There's a forum, a blog, a wiki-type content view (with actually much more flexibility than MediaWiki gives AFAIK), and a comment system that is Reddit-esque, with the nested commenting, voting, and sorting based on certain criteria.

I really don't think there's any solution out there that could even remotely do everything I need it to do nearly as well as this site does it, and when you combine that I'm very confident in the performance, stability, and security of the site because I made it all myself, it completely removes any appeal using anything else could ever have. To be honest, I'm surprised someone hasn't already made something like this. It wasn't terribly hard nor time-consuming to code. I've been playing with the idea of open-sourcing my site's source, but I'm really not sure how I feel about it. As far as that goes, I think I'd have to put a lot more thought into it.

I don't know how I feel about ever even selling this site, even though I could market it as a complete all-in-one website solution that has better security and performance than probably anything out there while also being extremely flexible. People are finding exploits in Wordpress and phpBB all the time, and these things have been made by teams of people throughout years. My site was actually only built starting about 2 years ago with a lot of on and off (mostly off) time throughout. I really don't know what the fuck these people are doing, but if you want my 2 cents, they're clearly doing something really, REALLY wrong. Websites are the easiest kind of thing to code and get right IMO. If these coders are struggling to make something decent as a website, I really wouldn't want to see what kind of code they'd make if they were making something more involved... like, damn.

I've had Kimi on my mind every single day, even while working so hard and focusing so much on all of this. This whole situation with her really makes me worried. I love and care about her so much, but I can't be sure she knows and feels it. She may very well return these feelings, but she may not have the confidence to carry herself through the judgement she must know she'd get for wanting to be with me. There's a lot of reason I could be very concerned, but I'm going to continue to believe the best in her. I really don't think she took this so far just to laugh at me in the end, nor do I think that she'd forever remain afraid of approaching me and taking me as she deserves to. I know that no matter what happens, I'll never believe nor accept that she has some kind of neutral feelings towards me after everything we've been through, and I certainly don't want her to either.

The whole thing seems like a gigantic mess, but it's a mess that I'm invested in with my life. This kind of shit is why people call me crazy, and I really get why. Well, it doesn't change my position. I know that no matter what happens, I've meant every single word I wrote in The International Ultimatum and it's follow-up. I've even listed them on the homepage with all the other notes, under their own section appropriately called "The Art of Love". I can't help but believe I didn't end up feeling this way and writing all that only to end up feeling devastated. Although I've never questioned how certain I am that I'm into girls and only girls, I've never really tried chasing a girl ever before, and to be honest, girls made it pretty easy because they never expressed the passionate interest in me that I wanted. Multiple girls have tried to mess with me before and get my attention and I guess probably wanted me to start chasing them, but I never actually really wanted to and felt compelled until I met Kimi.

She'd always talk to me in this very sweet, nice, gentle, and lighthearted way, but she was also clearly very serious, passionate, and she must know how clearly she came off very interested in me. She literally went out of her way to fly out and meet me very early on in getting to know me. She opened up to me about personal things very early on, seemingly with absolutely no hesitation. She's still showing me so much affection and interest despite all the fighting we've done. It still blows my mind. Kimi's gone over the top crazy showing massive obsession level interest in and passion towards me, and I honestly still can't believe how someone I always thought seemed so perfect but was completely out of reach is actually so perfect for me and seems so within reach that I can't help but stay hopeful seemingly against all odds. I guess life works in mysterious ways sometimes.

Anyways, I'm not sure exactly how often I'll be posting here. I guess it'll really have to be something I feel out and do whenever I really feel like it. I had fun writing this, and I never saw myself as the type that would genuinely enjoy any kind of blogging type thing. We'll have to see how it goes.
Posted by Angelic (8 total posts) on April 4, 2019 @ 09:53:13 am (EDT)
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